Zero to Hero – Tommy (The Achiever)
Chronic Spastic Paraparesis.. such a long and a cool phrase!! Is that the name of an Italian dance style?! Like a Para – para dance. NO!!! It is actually, an inherited disorder that is characterised by progressive weakness (gait difficulties & stiffness) and spasticity of the legs. This disorder affects the spinal cord, compromises the immune system, and cause muscle weakness and loss of skin sensation in both legs (balance and coordination issues).
That is what our zero to hero, Tommy, a 28-year-old, strong-willed gentleman suffered and is still suffering from. Tommy did not live an ordinary life like You, Me or Harry (who is Harry??). It was rather interesting. He was given birth to a mother which he does not know who it is till now. Yes, he was adopted by a Singaporean couple from China when he was around 1 to 2 years old.
To think about it now, he says, “I think I am ‘Lucky’ to have been adopted, if not life may be less comfortable and ambitious as it is now”.
Back in Singapore, he was already beginning to find difficulties in walking as a toddler. Thinking it was all normal, his parents left the issue to rest until he turned 4years old. Suspecting something is wrong when his walking was still not improving, his parents brought him to visit a doctor at the age of 4, in 1995. After a few tests, even the doctor could not identify his issue and give him proper a diagnosis. Things had to move on, hence, he decided to continue the next phase of life. Which was “KINDERGARTEN 1”.
Life in a Kindergarten
When it was time for him to go “Kindergarten 1” (a playschool), his father will carry him around. Even up the staircase as his class will be at level 2. As days when by, the children, Tommy’s fellow classmates grew to be familiar with each other. That is when they slowly started mocking and laughing at him for his inability to walk. He could only sit and do activities which involve only static movements.
Example, during his Kindergarten graduation he could only sing or be a static prop. Even singing wasn’t easy for him as his disorder had affected his vocal cord too.
But in him, he had the drive to start walking. So, he will keep trying and trying.
After graduating from Kindergarten, it was time for the next phase of his life. PRIMARY SCHOOL!!!!
Even though Tommy seemed excited to enter the new phase of his life, the schools he enrolled for wasn’t. Due to his undeniable condition and the school’s lack of awareness on to handling him at that time. He was rejected by several Primary schools upon enrolment (it is disappointing).
Life in a Primary school
But 1 school, with compassion and confidence, agreed to accept his enrolment.
That was Elias Park Primary school. Getting that school was a “blessing” for Tommy because he was treated with so much of privileges. Example, the school allowed him, ONLY HIM, to bring in a trolley designed bag where he can drag it everywhere because he found it difficult to carry a haversack designed bag over his shoulder. Some of his friends even during recess time helped him to carry over to his table any food which was in a liquid form or open cup of liquid because his balance and coordination issue causes him to “shake” uncontrollably and spill that liquid.
However, even though there are ‘beautiful-souled’ schoolmates around him. There are still this ‘nasty’ school mates, who made fun of his voice (remember I said earlier in this blog that his disorder affected his voice), and also mimics his, different than normal, walking style. ;(
He was a fast learner too. Hence, he used that ability to become more independent as he progressed to primary 5, 6 and graduate.
Life in a Secondary School
Upon graduation, he immediately got into his 1st choice of a secondary school that was near to his house and furthermore, it was the same as his close friend, Pasir Ris Crest Secondary School. In Pasir Ris Crest Secondary School, the technical adaptation of the school system, accessibility and etc, were better for him as he has already experienced and learned about it in his primary school. Tommy was excused from his Physical Education (PE) given his condition.
And he used that time to complete whatever homework he was given for that day. (doesn’t that become a “schoolwork” rather than a “homework”? smart move!!). Knowing that sometimes his classmates will be envious on him.
But the bullying did not get any better for him. Aside from the usual bullying activities he experienced, he also experienced being physically pushed around by some of his school mates. That made him feel depressed and hurt. He was confused about why this was still happening when he is independent already.
But he did not let that from deterring him from achieving his than priority, which was his O-level. He focused on that by revising and studying diligently and even had to improve his handwriting, which was advised by one of his teachers to be more eligible for the person who is marking for his O-level papers.
Fortunately, he was also offered extra time for his O-levels papers, because of the condition which affected his writing speed. After all those preparations, he managed to successfully pass his O-levels and follow through to a Polytechnic and the course of his choice. Kudos Tommy!
First Crush
And the polytechnic was ……….. WAIT! Before that, there was this cute incident which happened when Tommy was in sec 2. Which was the time a girl from his school caught his attention.
It must be her long hair and the cute face?
Whatever it is, he somehow wanted to impress her. So he when on to learn how to fold an origami through a book from the library. Then he started folding hundreds of heart-shaped papers into origami and collected it in a jar. (p.s. you know who to look for, for a gift during Valentine’s day)
He later when on decorating the jar with lots of “LOVE”. Then he found one fine day and presented that to her. Upon seeing that gesture, she was stunned, took it, smiled and when off. But weeks when by, and there was no response and reply from her. Tommy couldn’t pull out the courage and was too shy to ask her either. But after weeks, no one knows the real reason. She came back to him with that lovely jar he gave her and returned back to him without a word, and when off.
What a worst!
But the act was sweet though!
Fun fact; Tommy also creates and collects 3 – D puzzles.
Life in a Polytechnic
Anyway, to continue, he enrolled himself in Temasek Polytechnic to do a course in Informative Technology. According to Tommy, it was ONE OF THE BEST YEARS OF HIS LIFE.
But it started with a low note when Tommy had to start of his ‘Poly” life with an orientation, which the school had prepared for him and the new batch of students. When everyone was introducing themselves and getting to know each other. Tommy was quiet in his own comfortable corner and avoided interacting with anyone. This is partially because of his emotional barrier. The time when by and his classmates noticed that he was doing well in his modules, especially in the ‘Programming’ module. When classmates started approaching him for queries, Tommy started to interact with them in order to guide them. That is when he started becoming closer to his classmates. The moment, where his social life began to pick up to greater heights.
But in year 2 of his ‘poly’ life, things came tumbling down again. Tommy’s friends started to boycott him. Being clueless, Tommy was rather upset. But he could not afford to defocus from his other important thing, partially because of his health condition. 6 months when by and then all those friends who left him, except for one, came back to him and seek an apology. Confused, Tommy asked them what happened, his friends then revealed to him the hidden incident.
Apparently one of the guy (who did not come back to apologies) in their group has been spreading negative rumors about Tommy’s personality among the group of friends. That caused the group to dislike Tommy (out of assumptions) and hence, the reason why they started to move away from him and boycott him.
But in year 3, which was the last year of Tommy’s polytechnic life. He said to have lots of fun. Where even despite being in different project groups the classmates still gathered together and helped each other to complete their workloads. AND they all graduated successfully. AWESOME!
After his graduation from a diploma course. He was getting on to embark on the next phase of his life, UNIVERSITY.
But, WAIT AGAIN!!! Before he could do that. He got a letter from the Central Manpower Base (CMPB), to attend National Service.
TOMMY, NATIONAL SERVICE??!!
Life serving the nation
I had that similar reaction too. But Tommy accepted it happily. He served his two years of national service, pass E, admin staff in a Army Medic camp. And he was an inspiration to all “Choa Kengs” (individual who feign illness or injury in order to avoid a duty/responsibility). What a man! And fortunately, after the curiosity of finding out about his free medical benefit by the Army, he got his condition diagnosed by a doctor in Tan Tock Seng Hospital. After solving those years of the unsolved question, he eventually ORDed (Operationally Ready Date) successfully.
Life in the University
Next, he started on what he wanted to pursue. UNIVERSITY at SIM, doing his Bachelor’s in Computer Science. Because of his previous diploma course in Informative Technology, which had a few similar modules in his current bachelor’s course. He was able to automatically skip those modules and shorten his course by only two years. And using the experiences and lessons he obtained during his ‘poly’ days, Tommy became socially incline and get more friends in his university life.
Despite some few rough edges, Tommy graduated successfully from his Bachelor’s.
The Professional life
After this, Tommy started hunting for jobs. He when for 3 to 4 interviews and not long after, he got a job in an IT firm as a Software Engineer. When out of curiosity, I asked him “Despite having challenges, how did you get a job easier than other challenged (disabled) individual?”. And his answer was, “it is a choice, which is determined by your mindset. You want, or you don’t”. Bravo!!
This was a job to do with programming equipment which according to him, was brain stimulating and allows him to have alternate thinking. But he did not allow himself to stay in the job for more than 11 months. The main reason was traveling. He stayed in the far east side of Singapore, whereas the location he was deployed to was in an engineering company which was at the far west of Singapore. It took him about 2 hours to reach his destination and another 2 hours to reach back. Which was a total of 4 hours. This was straining his health, mainly because of his condition. He could walk for hours but find it difficult to stand for even a few minutes which happens in the train.
And when I asked him, “Why do you stand, find a seat and seat”. His reply was, “I only am able to sit when there is a seat available for me. Most of the times when I travel, it will be peak hours. Even in the morning or in the evening”. Me: “Then why don’t you approach someone already sitting and tell them I need to sit?”. For that he replied, “I am a normal individual and I have never thought of myself as an incapable person. So why will I tell someone I need the seat more than you do?”.
True readers, it is how we perceive our self and want others to see us as. So even people with a disability has a strong will to be as equal as or better than abled bodied friends.
Despite telling his boss previously on his concern, he saw no changes. Hence, Tommy decided to quit the job.
Now, sitting at home and seeking a job through the internet, newspaper, and etc.. but to no avail. Suddenly, Tommy got a random text from a random stranger for a finance job. Out of curiosity, he went ahead to explore it by attending a briefing. He liked what they were saying.
He immediately remembered of this time when he was still working in the IT firm as a Software Engineer, he was walking pass this roadshow conducted by an insurance company. Then Tommy was approached by an insurance ‘guy’, to share and sell insurance. Tommy found the policy beneficial, but according to the insurance policy certain insurance can’t be sold to certain people with a certain condition. That included Tommy’s condition. Realising it was unfortunate for him not being able to get the insurance, he thought of how fortunate some people are. He decided then that he should do something about it too. And now, at the current moment, he is a financial consultant himself with AXA.
When asked what his desire for the future is, he said:
1. Firstly, I will like to show gratitude to my parents for bringing me back from a farm in China by earning enough to contribute back to them.
2. Spend more time with my parents and help my Dad out in his delivery job.
3. I want to build an adoption home in Singapore.
4. Inspiring the PWDs (People with Disabilities) regarding a change of mindset.
5. I want a family, with two kids and a constant passive income of at least $15,000 A MONTH.
6. I want to own my own car, with first a Honda civic, followed by a Mercedes S class and lastly a Masaratti. (p.s. Forgot to mention, he got his class 3 license when he was in his ‘poly’ years).
7. I also want to own my own bungalow.
This sure is a list!
And when asked what is the message you want to share with the world?
He said this: “It does not matter what people tell about you, but it is what you want that matters. Because what others tell about you is an opinion, but what you tell yourself becomes a fact”.
Well said, Tommy!! Is not the external noise which matters the most, but the internal noise.
Believe in yourself, go Beyond your limits & Become your best!!
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